Nelly's Rhapsody

Autumn colors make me happy, specially when I can take in the colors and crisp smells.

i hate loud sounds, loud noises, loud voices. I hate them. I can't stand them and they are driving me crazy. It's like I need to pull each sound away from its source and drown it. Sounds that need not be loud, are magnified to eternity and makes me lose it. Honestly, a yawn is just a yawn. I live in a world where a yawn is a scream, a word is a smash and a sentence is a concert hall of rock music. I wonder why my head hurts all the time, I wonder why? The questions and answers, the keyboard and the signing, the water running over bodies of sex, I promise, I swear to whisper, to chase words out with whispers.

Everything passes.

I just saw the movie Julie and Julia and I enjoyed it so much! It was such and amazing film, entertaining and all about what I adore: food and love. I had read the blog, read the book and now seeing the movie just put all the yyummy pieces together.

as the rays of sunlight shine thru my room here in Miami, I feel blessed to be able to spend a sun filled summer of family, friends and fun. Colorado Springs was amazingly fun, filled wiuth too many Coronas, too much fun times. The people I met were increible, the times we spent together were memorable.
everyone holds a special place in my heart, some more than others, some not at all. and if you could read my mind, you´d know how much i enjoyed your company. the beatles and the food;

A good friend once told me “each person is a universe” and explained to me that everyone is so compeltely different. You know when you think, oh they're different? Yeah, well it's much more than different. It involves deeply rooted thoughts, intense emotions and cultural shocks; it partakes from the moment we decide to be who we are going to be in life and separate ourselves from each and every other “universe”. To believe and know that each person around us is a universe seems quite a task and not even one I want to think about, because sometimes all you want, all you need and crave is to have something in common with the people around you. Maybe just one thing like a book or a tv show or a language. To even remotely think that each and every one of us is so different seems out of this world to me, seems incomprehensible but still, I embrace it.
Attitudes can make or break you and sticking up for what you think, what you believe, what you trust in is the only thing you have going for you. If you can't defend your beliefs, wheather they be real or fake, then well, you have nothing to live for. You just can't go by life accepting everything, waiting for someone else to come along and solve it for you and make it go away; you just can't sit around on a couch and doodle and dance and sing and laugh when you know that something is not right.
Character is built with strength and strength is obtained thru hardships. Pretend nothing has happened and live a mediocre life, full of white picket fences, two dogs, kids and a homemade dinner always ready at 8. i'm not telling you to go out into the world and suffer. But accept the challenges God is putting in your way and embrace them.
You might think I'm insensitive, cruel, sarcastic, cold-hearted, impacient, stubborn. You might want to call me a bitch on a daily basis. You might want to … so why don't you? Seriously, it would make you feel so much better, it would make you realize you have some sort of strength in your white picket heart. And if you feel too good to call me a bitch, when don't. Wait for it to go away and it will.
But it won't because it's a constant reminder of what little you have of what pours out of my pores. You might think so much of me but let me set the record straight: the judgement in your eyes I can see it every single day, it's incredible. I may be crazy and stubborn but I do not judge because you know what, I hate being judged by others also.
So back to where I was- the people universe comparison. We are so completely different it ain't even funny.

i'm looking forward to so many things but sometimes there are just moments in life, when you don't really want to live the present and press fast forward. it may not be the best way to live, but its just that sometimes, all i have to look forward to are things long ahead. most importantly, i can;t wait to just be at peace, on love. everyday me levanto y pienso que ya, que hoy ya me ha pasado y que hoy es el dia en que ni pienso en el. y transcurren las horas y trabajo sin pensar y duermo y despierto pero de repente, ahi esta. como hoy, a las 5.56am antes de dormir, thinking of him. me duele extranarlo tanto, me duele no poder estar feliz sin el. quisiera estar completely happy, porque la verdad, es que soy feliz, pero...no en todo.
parenthesis (nunca estare feliz con todo ni en todo, entonces porque me molesto?)
i look forward to finishing this extern and this moment in life, where living with 4 other people gets too much on my last nerves; getting all my modules together, going back to school. i'm excited to learn so much and my head might explode with information (never will..);
i can't wait to get out of school, get a job and just live by myself, zero roomates, zero bfs, just me and my painted walls and my pet turtle. i want time on my own, i want to work my ass off with 20 hour days and overnight shifts. i want to cook my own food and not have anyone want it or take it, i want to watch tv and listen to music at 4am when i'm home. i want to stay home alone for weekends on end and be ok with it. i want to eat ice cream on a sunny street and walk in flip flops and east more chocolate fat free pudding. i want to work, even more.
i want to study and bake and decorate. i want to experience cultures and people and learn. and learn and read and karaoke and drink and eat. feel, paint, draw, write, flavor. LOVE.
...i miss him too much.